Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A Day With Squirrels

A fellow squirrely girl presented me with the idea of writing a Dr. Suess- like book about squirrels. This was after we learned that according to yahoo: "Squirrels have paws with razor sharp claws." Her concern was that the term "razor sharp" might be a little harsh. I maintain that a term such as this is completely acceptable as long as the children's story has a good moral.

I demonstrate this in my original, and completely child appropriate story:

A Day With Squirrels…
By Carrie McCulloch

Alfred Squirrel lost his tail while fighting the war
He came home to America and opened a store
He married Ms Hazel and purchased a tree
They had 2 children: Bobby and wee Emma Lee

Life was so grand, it was truly the best
On the weekends they’d read books, eat nuts and rest.
Every evening would bring kisses and big hugs goodnight.
Mr. and Mrs. would snuggle. (They never did fight.)

Then one day in August while having their tea.
There was suddenly a shadow, something strange did they see!
A lumberjack lumbering toward their lovely abode.
An axe in his hand. He would chop down a load!

His eyes met Alfreds, and they glared at the other.
Surely he would not hurt wee Emma’s mother!
Lumberjack lumbered right up to their home.
Raised his axe high and kicked over their gnome.

With a choppity chop and a HACK and a WHACK
It soon became clear, they were under attack!
The tree fell to the ground, Alfred onto his head.
And Oh! The humanity! His family was dead!

He raised his head and yelled to the squirrel in the sky:
“Why did you take my family? Why squirrel? Why?”
How could he go on? How could he live his life?
Was it even worth living without kids and his wife?

He looked to the lumberjack who was chopping away.
His squirrel heart hardened. No pity today!
Revenge! Revenge! It must be sought now!
The only question was when? And furthermore, How?

The sorrowful squirrel looked down at his razor sharp claws.
And knew right then they could serve a great cause.
He marched up to the lumberjack who had left his home smashed.
And by the time Alfred left that lumberjack’s throat had been slashed.

The blood spilled here. The blood spilled there.
It was even on Alfred but he did not care.
The big meanie deserved it. This wasn’t a pity.
Without guys like this around, it was a much safer city!

Victory! Joy! And what a relief!
This was surely the thing to help him with grief!
Now off to the pub for a lovely nut ale.
Blood has been shed, and he must share the tale.

Walking to town with a little squirrel swagger
He was grateful for claws. His personal dagger.
Ahead in the road he did see quite a sight.
A mother and 2 children who were clearly in plight.

With tear stained eyes they told their story
Of their lumberjack father killed in a scene, quite gory!
Their daddy had just gone out to do some chopping
The family was starving and had to go shopping.

This was not the result for which he had longed!
He just wanted to kill because he felt he was wronged!
Alfred never gave thought to the life he had ended.
He just thought of himself and his pride he defended.

The guilt! The sadness! It was all too much!
Alfred began weeping, and crying and such.
He thought eye for an eye was justified and correct.
But from this belief he would now surely deflect.

Alfred felt emptiness from a lost family and victim.
He realized that life was not all about him.
His family truly did not deserve to die.
But to pretend their killer was not valued was truly a lie.

Alfred fled the small town to live all alone.
Hoping that soon his sins he could atone.
Everyday he prayed for the family with whose life he had messed.
Alfred died all alone up in a sad little nest.

Lessons can be learned from our good friend the squirrel
These lessons should be remembered by each young boy and girl.
Go to sleep young one and don’t you forget
Revenge on your enemies only causes regret


  1. I love it Carrie! I can't believe you came up with this! It's way better than my attempt. I miss you!

  2. Wow! Umm you are amazing. Poems are one of the hardest things to write.

  3. Kicked a gnome!!!! You're sick.

  4. Carrie, this is VERY good. Keep it up.

  5. You're so awesome, Carrie! I miss you!

  6. a riveting tale!

  7. Why thank you, Anonymous!

  8. Great job, although if Alfred was a truly decent squirrel he would have married the lumberjack's wife and supported the two kids. It would be the right thing to do, and not inappropriate and weird at all.