I have a very wise friend by the name of Steve Kirks. Recently, Steve did what many Facebook addicts consider the unthinkable... He cancelled his account. According to Steve's blog: "I realized that the constant exposure to other’s lives through social network sites left me feeling empty. I had subcontracted human contact to Facebook and Twitter, allowing to maintain the illusion of ‘keeping in touch’ without touching anything." Doesn't Steve have an elquoent way of phrasing his thoughts?
Lately, I have begun to feel the same way. Currently, I have 136 "friends" on Facebook. (Down a bit since I recently cleaned out the people that I haven't spoken to in ages. Refreshing!) I put the word "friends" in quotation marks not because I don't think of them capable of being my friend, but because I don't believe that Facebook alone could ever really allow us to be what that word implies.
Am I glad to have reconnected with people from my past? Definitely! So glad in fact that I would like to pick up the phone and actually connect. Here is the problem: People don't seem to be able to tear themselves away from Facebook (or texting for that matter.) It seems that more and more people are becoming almost uncomfortable with anything past a superficial level.
I want to hear my friends voices, laughter and tears, read their creative and complete thoughts on their blogs, and occasionally shoot an e-mail if necessary. It makes me wonder...If I were to give up Facebook and texting, would my 136 friends disappear? If I opt for more meaningful connections, am I essentially giving up all connections? Can I win against technology? (Yikes! Do I sound like Carrie Bradshaw here? Not intended!)
How about you give me a call and we will discuss it...
(comments are good too though!)
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Facebook and I broke up for about 4 months. It was a wonderful thing. I, too, felt that I no longer needed to hear what everyone was doing every minute of the day (my favorite update: "I'm sleeping". No your not, you're facebooking, liar). Yet, I'm back in Facebook land because I felt out of the loop. I could no longer stand to hear "Did you see what so and so said on Fscebook?" When I would respond no, I felt like I had just admitted that I was socially inept. I agree with you, though, Facebook has become our way of being social without really being social. In actuality, being on Facebook feels for me as if I'm a peeping tom that sneaks a look into the windows of everyone's lives and sees what their up to, even if I don't actually want to know. I get to take a peek without actually having to knock on their door and talk to them. There's something inately weird about that.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Me
p.s. I guess I should have just called you to tell you all of this.
No worries Amy. Couldn't agree more. My favorite post: "I love Fridays!" "TGIF!" or simply: "Friday!!!" (Friday after Friday after Friday after...)
ReplyDeleteIt might be a young people problem Carrie!! They are so used to this kind of communication and self exposure, it defiantly creates a sort of artificial intimacy. Now me I like it. I think the reason is because i have so few friends and only talk to people I am very close to. It is free long distance to talk to my sister and brother-in-law, I totally love that, we have a lot of fun. And there are baby pictures!! It is very hard for me to travel long distances for assorted reasons but because of facebook i can look at Leah and feel the joy! I also use it to get information on how to deal with chronic migraines and such, people give you tips and recipes. So to me it's all how you use it; it is certainly very inferior to actually talking to people on the phone that's why i still call my sister and brother-in-law on the weekends, when it's free of course, to hear their voices and pick up on their real moods and nuances; and infinitely inferior to seeing them in person and sharing a cup of tea with people you are so comfortable with that there is no such thing as awkward silence. So anyway i can understand your frustration with these ridiculous networking/stalking/artificial intimacy sites, but for me seeing people i care about who might be far away or just have a very demanding schedule makes me feel a little bit more connected. By the way you never told me how your mujadra turned out!! this is from aunt barb not anonomous, see i am so computer unsavvy i don't even know how to post this properly!! but any i will stop rambling peace out homie!!
ReplyDeleteI haven't tried the Mjadra yet. :( I was going to try it last Thursday, but parents wound up taking my niece and nephew out.
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